Facing Fears and Breaking Down Walls

I had an interesting experience yesterday that really made me reflect on the way I act and treat people.

Yesterday I spent 13 hours at the library. While I was there a boy came and sat by me in one of the big booths. He sat down and introduced himself and shook my hand and I introduced myself. We made small talk for a minute then moved on to homework. Over the course of maybe 45 minutes, at least 10 people stopped to talk to him. And not only did people come to talk to him, he would also stop random people and pay them a compliment or something. I was like "Who is this kid? He knows everyone." Then Jade showed up and we decided to walk home together for dinner. Before we left, he got up and shook her hand and introduced himself to her as well. Then he proceeded to tell her how the two of us went way back, and he couldn't believe I hadn't ever told him about her before. I played along and he thought it was hilarious.

When I got back from dinner I found him still in the same spot, so I went and joined him again because I was so intrigued by him. We made small talk again then went back to our homework. A little while later, we struck up conversation and really got talking for probably half an hour. (Ps- I'm a terribly awkward conversationalist.) But we really talked. He treated me like we really did go way back, and like he was planning on being good friends forever. I was fascinated by how he did this. As the night went on, he continued to get visitor after visitor. He told me that some of them he really didn't know all that well, and that he had just met them a day or week ago. But each one of them acted as if they had been friends forever. Later, I was talking to a friend in the lobby and this kid stopped by on his way back from a drink and introduced himself and told my friend that he dressed really nicely (which is something that this friend really prides himself on.)

I went home that night thinking about how this boy talked to everyone, and how he talked to them like he fully intended to be good friends. I thought it was so cool. Then I thought about how I usually act at the library. I sit alone at my table and avoid eye contact with anyone who walks past. I asked myself why I act like that when I think it would be so great to be like my new friend. I've got a couple of hypotheses. 

1) Sometimes I remember faces. Sometimes I remember names, but not very often do I remember a name and a face together. Because of this I think I find it intimidating to talk to new people because I don't know if I will recognize them the next time I see them. And I worry about how rude it would be to ignore them the next time I see them because I don't recognize them.

2) I'm always worried about social norms. In my heart I know that most people love conversation and making new friends. But in my head I think that when people come to the library to study and that they don't want to talk to a random girl about what classes they took in high school, or an embarrassing story, or their favorite song that just came up on Pandora. Because I assume that people don't want to talk, I am really quiet and don't say anything.

After thinking about how this boy made my day by talking to me and my lame excuses for being so anti-social, I've made a decision. I have decided that I am going to throw social norms out, pay better attention and interact with anyone and everyone. If nothing else, I can smile at people more, or I can at least say "Hi " as I walk past. I can stop people in the library to tell them that I like their shirt or hair. And I can really get out of my comfort zone and actually talk to the people who join me at my table. This is my new goals. I want to make friends everywhere I go. I want to make someone's day by treating them like an old friend. Maybe you can go do the same?