Lesson in Dating

Today I had an epiphany and learned a valuable lesson. Now I understand one possible reason why people here do not date. The simple explanation: It's hard to find someone to ask out.

That seems ridiculous doesn't it? I mean, there are thousands of young men and women attending college. It would seem like a person could walk up to any one of them and ask them out. But it's not that simple. Once you go through the process of narrowing down your options, you're not left with a lot to work with. Allow me to elaborate.

First you have to go through the contacts in your phone and your friend list on Facebook. You narrow it down to the people that you think you could enjoy going out with. That part's not too hard.

Next you have to narrow that list down to the people with whom you have a relationship that would allow you to ask them out. Some people you are really only facebook friends with. Others, might take the invitation as a declaration of your love for them, and that may totally freak them out. Some of them you already spend so much time with that you want to go on a date with someone new. By the time you consider all the factors associated with each person, you've only got a few left.

Last, you remember to check their relationship status. Since it's spring and couples are popping out of the snow like daises (literally), you need to double check before you ask anyone out. By the time you eliminate all of the people who have recently gotten married, engaged, or otherwise attached to a significant other, you're down to one or two people.

Now you look at your last options. You are sad to realize that they were the people who barely made the first cut. And you accept that in all honesty you really would rather not go out with them.

So now what? Back to square one. You've got a gift card to dinner and no one to invite. There are several options.

1) Text your best friend in hopes that they will inspire you. Maybe they will think of someone you missed, or at least have a friend they could set you up with.

2) Think of every single person in each of your classes and determine if there is a single one of them that you could potentially get away with asking.

3) Consider just inviting one of your roommates or best friends to go with you. Or at worst, going by yourself.

4) The last option (and my personal favorite) is to just walk up to the super attractive person that you see at the library almost every day and ask them out. You could say something like "Hey. I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe?" Or even better, "Hey. Want to mate? I... I... I mean date." Or you could follow the lead of the ladies in the movie Top Gun and just say "Take me to bed or lose me forever." (Just kidding, I would never say any of those things. But I did really consider asking out the really attractive guy that I see at the library all the time.)

While considering all of those options, you might get lucky and stumble upon a date. But if not, you have now learned a valuable lesson about why people don't date.