Lesson in Dating

Today I had an epiphany and learned a valuable lesson. Now I understand one possible reason why people here do not date. The simple explanation: It's hard to find someone to ask out.

That seems ridiculous doesn't it? I mean, there are thousands of young men and women attending college. It would seem like a person could walk up to any one of them and ask them out. But it's not that simple. Once you go through the process of narrowing down your options, you're not left with a lot to work with. Allow me to elaborate.

First you have to go through the contacts in your phone and your friend list on Facebook. You narrow it down to the people that you think you could enjoy going out with. That part's not too hard.

Next you have to narrow that list down to the people with whom you have a relationship that would allow you to ask them out. Some people you are really only facebook friends with. Others, might take the invitation as a declaration of your love for them, and that may totally freak them out. Some of them you already spend so much time with that you want to go on a date with someone new. By the time you consider all the factors associated with each person, you've only got a few left.

Last, you remember to check their relationship status. Since it's spring and couples are popping out of the snow like daises (literally), you need to double check before you ask anyone out. By the time you eliminate all of the people who have recently gotten married, engaged, or otherwise attached to a significant other, you're down to one or two people.

Now you look at your last options. You are sad to realize that they were the people who barely made the first cut. And you accept that in all honesty you really would rather not go out with them.

So now what? Back to square one. You've got a gift card to dinner and no one to invite. There are several options.

1) Text your best friend in hopes that they will inspire you. Maybe they will think of someone you missed, or at least have a friend they could set you up with.

2) Think of every single person in each of your classes and determine if there is a single one of them that you could potentially get away with asking.

3) Consider just inviting one of your roommates or best friends to go with you. Or at worst, going by yourself.

4) The last option (and my personal favorite) is to just walk up to the super attractive person that you see at the library almost every day and ask them out. You could say something like "Hey. I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe?" Or even better, "Hey. Want to mate? I... I... I mean date." Or you could follow the lead of the ladies in the movie Top Gun and just say "Take me to bed or lose me forever." (Just kidding, I would never say any of those things. But I did really consider asking out the really attractive guy that I see at the library all the time.)

While considering all of those options, you might get lucky and stumble upon a date. But if not, you have now learned a valuable lesson about why people don't date.

Temples, Concerts, and Strange Men

It has been so long since I have really blogged, and so much has happened. I have so many stories.

First, I went through the temple for my own endowments on March 23rd. It was so fantastic. I had half of my family there, and it was a really great experience. Here is a picture of the group.

That night I went to a Utah Symphony Orchestra concert with my friends, then we went to the most amazing pizza place ever. I loved it. And I love my friends more than I can even say.

The next weekend I went with some other friends to the Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. That always makes for a really great time, because what is better than throwing colored cornstarch at your friends and getting covered in the stuff yourself. So great.

We started out so clean.

And ended looking like this.

Then that night my roommate, Sammy, and I dyed Easter eggs. By some crazy, random happenstance, neither of us could find any friends to do anything with, but we both really wanted to do something. So we ended up hanging out together.

After we dyed eggs, we went to the movies together. While there, we got talking to these two guys sitting behind us. One was married, and the other was his single brother in law visiting from BYU. When the movie was over, the single guy invited us to go meet up with one of his friends for ice cream. I agreed to it because I thought stuff like that happened to Sammy all the time, and I didn't want to cramp her style. But we failed to  think about the fact that it was like 11:30 so everywhere in Logan was closed. So then we ended up going to Walmart to buy ice cream and Rootbeer. We sat across from the redbox in the Walmart entrance and ate our rootbeer floats. It was odd. When we got home, I discovered that Sammy was totally weirded out by the whole thing, and thought it was totally bizarre. Apparently stuff like that DOESN'T happen to her all the time. Who knew?! The best part about the whole thing though, was that when this kid's sister showed up to pick up his brother-in-law, I knew her way back from my freshman year. And it's terrible, but I couldn't take him seriously once I knew who his sister was. It was quite the experience though. Can't say I've ever had anyone in a movie theater ever try to pick up on me and my friends before.

Blast from the past

"There I was drunk as an Indian out in the dessert, then I saw Homer Bennett and he told me I should run for student body officer"

That is the first of many historic references that will be made in this post. Do you ever think about the good ole' days? Sometimes I do. Mostly when I'm on youtube. So I thought I'd dedicate a post to all the things that used to make me laugh. Here we go!

Can I have your number? Can I have it???
Remember that creepy little boy who kept asking for your number? And asked about your boyfriend, and reassured you that you could "work that up-do!"? Oh wait... that was just Cassidy Heiner.

"Your laugh is like a child's laugh. Children's laughter brings joy, and you your laughter brings joy."
Still hands down the best compliment I've ever been given. Courtesy of Chris Call.

Middle School Dances
When you hear this song, does a vivid image of a middle school dance come to mind? No middle school dance was complete unless we heard this song at least three times. And secretly, I still smile when I hear it just because it is just so funny to me.

Right along with middle school comes the mention of "Stinky Feet" and "Socks" and "Toe Socks". If you don't know what these mean, you don't want to know.

David Beckham
How many girls drooled over this picture hanging in Merrilyn's locker? We will never know.

Justin Timberlake- Single Ladies
How many times did my friends say that "We're the dancers"? Not enough.

Sisters
Two words. Class-sick. This is the most classic video ever. I still really aspire to perform this someday.

"There I was spittin' on my goldfish, trying to keep it alive."
Why would anyone start a story with anything other than that statement? I know neither I or Kirsten ever did.

Achmed
Oh Achmed... how we loved to mock you.

And finally, you can't forget all the great nicknames. K-Dog, Savage, Foxy-Coxy, Scanty-Randi, Sexy Beast/Thermal Disney, Melyn/Mrlyn, Dino, Blackie-Chan, and all the others that I can't remember right now. So great.

Spring Break

Everyone who knows me, knows that I love the beach.. If my plan to get a PhD and become a professor falls though, my backup plan is to be a beach bum/professional dumpster-diver in Florida. What could be better right? Well I don't know when I will get to actually do that, so I came up with an alternative that will have to suffice for now.

This week, my nieces and nephews and I painted a beach scene on a bed sheet to hang over my bed. It went rather well.

And the end result was really awesome.

And now when I wake up in the morning, I can pretend that I am on a beach in Florida. :)

"Hey, watch this."

Granite. Snowmobiling and swimming combined. Heaven right? Usually yes. But today, no.

Sometimes I'm not the wisest or skilled snowmobile driver (only sometimes though). Exhibit A: today.

There I was thinking that I would be brave and take on the challenge of a big hill right off the bat. I figured it would be a good start to the day. So I take off, I swear I was hitting the gas hard enough. But I felt like my tracks just weren't digging in, I was fishtailing all over the place. Then the machine jerked to the right and before I knew it, I was sitting sideways on the mountain. I couldn't turn it back up the mountain, and I was scared that if I tried to turn it downhill, I was just going to just roll it down the mountain. So I stopped where I was. I waited for a minute, and finally my dad came back over the top of the hill. Together we dug it out, and rotated the machine enough for me to take it down the hill. It took a while to accomplish all that though. It was not fun. And it totally scared me to death.

I know it doesn't look that bad, but it was really steep, and the machine was really lopsided.

Oh wait. It gets better. This is where I turned really stupid.

There we were, driving around the open meadows, having a grand ole' time. I followed a set of tracks over a little hill, then towards some trees. I didn't realize how thick the trees were, or how much powder was there. I just thought the tracks would turn and head back towards the open range. A little too late, I realized that it wasn't looking good, but the powder was too deep to deviate away from the trail. Finally the tracks led off of a HUGE drop-off. There was no way I was doing that, so I took my only other option. I took off into the powder. I knew immediately though that I wasn't going anywhere. So I cut the engine and started hiking towards the open space so I could wave my group down as they hopefully drove past again. But the powder was so deep and so soft that I couldn't even walk. I had to crawl most of the way out. My group found me waving my coat in the air, and they came to my rescue. We were there digging the machine out for probably 30 minutes. Just me, Dad, Cortney, and Cortney's friend. Finally we got it turned around for my Dad to drive it off of the big drop off, then he was able to bring the machine back to where we started.

Moral of the story: Think about where you're going before you go. Also, if you're going snowmobiling with me, you should probably bring a shovel, and a couple strong men. There's a good chance that I may do something stupid, and having those things may help undo stupid.

Kool-Aid, Hair, and Lots of Fun

Remember a few years back when Jashley and I dyed our niece's hair blue with Kool-aid?

Well things haven't changed all that much. BUT I have moved onto bigger and better things!!! Now I dye my own hair with Kool-aid! :)

Yes, our fingers got a little messy...

But the end result was really cool.

Here's the trick. Put a little bit of powder on your fingers and rub it in with a little bit of water. Then rub that onto a lock of wet hair. Let it dry, and BAM! you have colored hair. A few warnings though. 1) It dyes your fingers. But don't worry, it should come off in a day or two. 2) It makes your hair really difficult to brush through, and your hair may be prone to snapping off while you try to brush it. So I would not recommend doing this to children with soft heads. But mostly, It was pretty awesome. I won't lie.

Adventures in Love

Here is a post-Valentine's Day blog post. These are fun stories that I made up about my friends. It kind  of reminds me of the movie "Valentine's Day".  I had a lot of fun writing them today, and just for the record, I did get permission to post them.

Jade was in love with a boy at school. Every day when she walked past his desk, her heart would flutter and long to be with him. This went on for at least a year, and finally she couldn't take it anymore. She decided that Valentine’s Day would be the opportune moment to do something. She planned it all out and made sure that she looked especially cute that day. She arranged to have notes delivered to him throughout the day giving him hints about her identity. On the last note of the day, she left him instructions to meet her at the Tandori Oven (This sketchy little Indian restaurant that definitely wouldn't have been my choice of a meeting place). She got there early and positioned herself directly across from the door. When he walked in, she caught a whiff of his cologne over the overpowering scent of the curry. But that whiff of cologne was enough to overpower her. He walked over and she said, “It’s me. I am the one who loves you.” To which he replied “I wanted it to be you so badly, but I didn't think you knew I even existed.” Then the two of them embraced and spent the rest of the evening staring into each others’ eyes in perfect bliss.

When Cortney woke up on the morning of Valentines Day, she thought the day would be like any other day because she didn't have any special someone in her life. But her world was about to be turned upside down. When she checked the mail at noon, she found that she had received a letter from one of her old friends. She was surprised when she read the letter. Her friend confessed his love for her, and asked her to wait for him to return from his mission. She didn't know what to think. She called her sister, Kelsey, who was thrilled at the love confession because she had been scheming for years to get the two of them together. Cortney returned to school in a daze. When she ran into her new best friend, she wanted to tell him what had happened, but before she got the chance, he asked her out on a date for that night. That night while they were eating dinner at Fong’s Chinese restaurant, this boy confessed his love for her. He said “Cortney, I know that we are just friends, but I feel like we could be so much more. When I am with you, I feel like I am complete. When I am with you, I feel like you are the person that my patriarchal blessing describes as my wife. Please, be mine.” Cortney was stunned. How could this happen?! Her typical day had turned into her having to choose between two very good guys. She told the boy that she would need time to think about it. He took her home, and as far as I know, she is still trying to figure things out. (Personally, I’m rooting for the missionary friend.)

Janel was so excited for Valentine’s Day. She knew she was going to spend the evening with her one true love, the Utah State basketball team. She was especially excited to watch Spencer Butterfield play. She got there early to claim a front row seat, right up close to the action. It was an emotional game. The score was close, and the lead kept changing. But in the final seconds of the game, Butterfield scored a 3-point shot to win the game 87-89. As he did, the fans rushed onto the court. Butterfield was so excited about the basket, that he grabbed the first person that he saw and kissed them. He took them, and he kissed the crap out of them. And do you know who that person was? It was Janel!!! And when their lips met, there were fireworks. The whole spectrum lit up and everyone disappeared but the two of them. For a moment, the whole world revolved around them. They gazed into each others’ eyes and they knew they were meant for each other. But then they came back to reality and were pulled apart by the rush of the crowd. Now they are trying to reconnect with each other, but it is hard to do. He doesn't know her name or anything about her, and she can’t connect with him because he is such a celebrity and so his personal contact information is well guarded. But they were meant to be together, so I’m sure that love will find a way to bring them together.

Spencer was expecting a low-key Valentine’s Day. He was just going to go to a friend’s party for an hour or so, and then go home to watch a movie by himself. When he got there, he headed to get some food. As he reached for an éclair, his hand brushed the hand of a pretty girl. They apologized quickly, and then began talking. They talked for nearly an hour. Then the girl told him that she wanted to go have some fun on the town, and begged him to come along. Well Spencer was really interested in this girl, so he agreed to go along. First the girl wanted a Slurpee from 7-11, so they stopped by KFC and got a big bucket and then filled it up with Slurpee. Then after the sugar rush, the girl wanted to explore the underground of USU. So they climbed down a man-hole and explored the tunnel system below campus. When they came up, they ran into the university police. They ran and got away from the police. But then they were worried about being caught again, so they left their car at first dam, and walked to second dam where the girl convinced him to do a polar bear plunge. They lit a fire to dry off and warm up then she wanted to hike to the wind caves. So they hiked to the caves in the dark, and that is where they stayed to watch the sunrise in the morning. Spencer isn’t sure if he will ever see the girl again, but he says that it was one memorable night.

*Remember that none of these stories are true. They are all made up.