Blessed Assurance

Today has been a sweet Sabbath, filled with lots of tears. Sad, pitiful tears. But such is life. I went to church this morning and invited a visitor to sit by me. She was sweet, and it was much needed for both of us, I think. I was fine during the first hour of classes, but in the second hour of classes, things started to go downhill. I found my thoughts wondering as I reflected on the last four months of my life and reviewing some of my happier memories from that time frame. But then I found myself wondering how long it is acceptable to keep doing that. I know that a natural part of mourning is to reminisce and think about good times. But at what point to do you need to let go and not think about those things anymore? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure if I want to hit that point anytime soon. But at the same time, I want nothing more than to be done with the heartache and sorrow and be able to feel completely happy again.

By the time that I made it to Sacrament Meeting, I was feeling a little somber. I sat right in the middle of the chapel on the edge of a long bench, hoping that someone would come fill in the middle section and therefore, sit by me. But nothing.... as Sacrament Meeting got closer I found myself starting to feel even more blue. And then this super sweet girl left her row of friends and asked if she could come sit by me. That was so sweet of her. I didn't know who she was, but I kept thanking her for coming to sit by me so I didn't have to be alone. During the Sacrament, I pulled out a hymn book and read the words to the hymn "Reverently and Meekly Now." I like that hymn, because it is written from the perspective of the Savior talking to us. As I read the words to that hymn, a few tears slid down my face as I felt like He really was talking to me. I pulled myself together to listen to the speakers. The first speaker addressed the topic of gratitude even in our trials. If that wasn't applicable, then I don't know what is. Then the next speaker addressed the topic of happiness. Again, nothing more applicable to my life. Then finally the high council member stood up and spoke about how we will face hard times in life and how it is alright to ask questions in those times. But he said that we should make sure that we are asking real questions. We should not be asking rhetorical questions as a way to moan and groan about our circumstances. That hit home with me. His whole talk was really inspired, and again I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

When Sacrament Meeting ended, I had the opportunity to meet with my Stake President. He had been my bishop who assisted with my missionary application, and therefore someone that I felt particularly close to. I went into his office and sat down. He asked me a question or two about my mission, and then about my life since. I gave him a brief overview of the last few months of my life, with a little more detail put into the last month. We discussed the nature of my current situation, and what it meant for the future. I shed quite a few tears during that visit. But I was glad that I was able to sit down and talk to an ecclesiastical leader, or really any sort of leader. I appreciated the perspective, wisdom, and compassion that he was able to share.

Now here I sit, still feeling heartbroken and numb. But at least I feel the spirit more today that I have in a very long while. I have been able to see the Lord's hand very clearly in the trials that I have been handed lately. But today I was also able to see His hand in supporting me through those trials. The days may be dark, but there is light ahead somewhere. I just need to keep moving forward until I reach it.

Having Fun Isn't Hard...

Did you know that having fun isn't hard, when you've got a library card?! Fact. I learned that from the children's show, Arther. And I've proven it.

The best thing about public libraries is that they usually have a nice collection of movies... that you can rent for FREE!!!! Why pay $1.29 at Redbox or even $4.49 at Hastings when you can pay nothing at the library. Yes, the pickings may be slim, because the library doesn't have as many copies of the same movies as the other places do; therefore you might have to wait a little while for the movie you want. But that's fine, because while you're waiting, you can rent a movie that you've never been exposed to before and broaden your horizons.

Last week I spent a lot of time watching movies that I rented at the library. And I tried really hard to pick good movies. I picked ones that everyone else in the world seems to have seen, but I have somehow dodged for 22 years. Here are some of my favorites.

Cinderella Man
I loved this movie. It was incredible. I can see why it was a
winner of so many awards. It was beautifully done. I know that
Russell Crowe isn't the most liked actor in Hollywood; however,
I do have to give him the credit that he deserves for this movie.
He did a remarkable job. I was more absorbed in this movie, than
any other movie that I have watched in a very long time.

Sabrina

This was my first time ever watching an Audrey Hepburn movie. 

I was not disappointed. She did a beautiful job. She is so 

elegant and graceful. She was So classy, especially compared 

to some other leading ladies of her day, such as Marilyn 

Monroe (whom I also love). Also, I love Humphrey Bogart. Super

classy as well.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

This is one of those movies that I feel everyone needs to watch 

in their lifetime. I am now proud to say that I have done

so. It was absolutely marvelous!!! I LOVED Holly! She reminded

me so much of my best friend, Elysha. It was almost unrealistic

how much she reminded me of Elysha. Oh it was so wonderful.

Now I know why this movie is such a big deal.

Leave the Past Where it Belongs

Since being home from my mission, I have noticed that some fashion trends have changed significantly since I have been gone. I'm going to tell you about them, and just how ridiculous I think they are.

First trend: Leggings

A couple of years back leggings came back into style. You know what I'm talking about, the spandex pants that people wore in the 80's? At first people just wore them under dresses, or long sweaters. I didn't think they were cute, but they weren't repulsive either. But oh how the tables have turned... People no longer just wear them under dresses and long sweaters any more. Now they are commonly accepted as pants that can be worn with anything. And everyone wears them. It's not just the skinny girls, or the non-so-skinny girls. EVERYONE. To all of these people, I want to say "Hello. As cute as your butt is, no one wants to see it jiggle when you walk. Are you aware that those tight leggings make your butt look exceptionally large?" It's true. Even skinny girls look like they have massive butts when they wear leggings.

See, What about this is cute? Nothing. Nothing about this is cute...

Second trend: Man-buns

First off, I don't even think it is very attractive when guys have really long hair to begin with. Secondly, I don't know when it became socially acceptable for guys to pull their long hair up, nonetheless when it became "cool". Isn't long hair kind of a feminine trait? I mean even the bible talks about long hair. It says that WOMEN are supposed to have long hair.  I’ve always thought ponytails were for when your hair is greasy and you’re trying to hide it. Combine those two factors, and you’ve got an extremely greasy, feminine man. Not exactly my idea of attractiveness.

Again... nothing cute about this.

And there you have my opinion on the latest fashion trends. I know that these things were cool in the 80's. But that was 30 years ago. I think that these trends should be left in the 80's. It's 2015, people. Let's be a little bit more creative and progressive in our style choices.

Love Confessions

Once upon a time there was a missionary named Sister Simpson. She really was a good missionary. But unlike other missionaries, Sister Simpson didn't exactly lock her heart. She loved talking about love. Most of all, she loved the idea of playing match maker. So she started a business of writing love confessions for people. These weren't just any love confessions, however, they were musical love confessions. They all had bits and pieces from love songs fused with more personal words of affection.

Since this week is Valentines Day, (and we all know how much I love Valentines Day) I thought that I would post these love confessions so that everyone could enjoy them. I hope that y'all have a wonderful valentines that is full of every kind of love imaginable.

Love Confession #1: From a Sister to her best Elder friend

[Elder], lately I've been thinking about how everybody, wants to love & everybody wants to be loved. I've realized that I love the way you say “good morning” and you take me the way I am. Ever since I realized that, I feel like I see the light & it’s like the fog has lifted. And now I know that this is love. Yes, this is what makes life complete. The more I think about it, the more I can’t help falling in love with you.

If I’d never knew you, if I’d never felt this love, I would have no inkling of how precious life could be. But the fact is that I do know you. And I do love you. So [Elder], Come what may. I will love you until my dying day. And I know that this will be an everlasting love. This will be the one I’ve waited for. So won’t you please stay with me? Baby, stay with me. Tonight don’t leave me alone.

Love Confession #2: From an Elder to his secret Sister crush

Dear Sister ______

A few months ago, I was living in my own world. I didn’t understand that anything could happen if you take a chance. Then I met you and I found myself thinking “It’s her hair and her eyes today that just simply take me away.” Then I got to know you even more and realized there was more to you than pretty eyes and hair. I like that because I don’t want another pretty face. I don’t want just anyone to hold. I don’t want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul. And I want to wrap you up. Want to kiss your lips. I want to make you feel wanted. Because one thing I know for sure is that if anyone can make me fall in love, you can.

I’m dying to know if you ever think when you’re all alone, all that we could be where this thing could go. Personally, I really believe that there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach if we’re trying. I know that all of this sounds over the top, [Sister]. But I swear that every word I say is true. This I promise you. All I ask is that when I go home, you think of me. Think of me fondly when we’ve said goodbye. Remember me once in a while; please promise me you’ll try. If you’ll do that, I promise in return that I’ll be with you. I’ll be there for you always, always, and always. I’ll be there Always.

Love,

Elder _______

Love Confession #3: From a Sister to her Elder crush

I’ll always remember those late afternoons. They lasted forever, and ended so soon. Let’s be real though. Here’s the thing, we started out friends. But then things escalated, and ever since then I’ve been spending all my time just thinking about you. I don’t know what to do. I think I’m falling for you. It’s hard not to, because everyone that sees you always wants to know you. Everyone that knows you always has a smile. Even I’m under your spell. You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed singing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Every day I wake up thinking about how I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been. But the timing isn’t ideal right now. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long. I hate that you can’t hurry love. No, you just have to wait. It kills me to wait for the day that you’re in my arms and all the world is calm. Someday we’ll get there, but in the mean time I hope you know that you’re beautiful, every little piece, Love. I hope you know you’re really going to be someone. Ask anyone. So stay beautiful.

Love Confession #4: From a loving husband to his wife

Good morning, Beautiful. How was your night? Mine was wonderful with you by my side. I’ve been thinking about all that you mean to me. The best way to sum up my feelings is to say that to the world you may be just another girl, but to me, Baby, you are the world. And through this crazy life, and through these crazy times it’s you, it’s you. You make me sing. You’re every line. You’re every word. You’re everything. I can’t help but think every day about how you are so beautiful to me. Can’t you see? You’re everything I hope for. You’re everything I need. Even on the worst days, I see your smile and remember why you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.

We’ve had ups, and we’ve had downs. Through it all you’ve always stayed by my side. It’s because of you that I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. Annie, I know that you’re the answer to my prayers, and you’re with me everywhere. You’re my angel, my miracle. You’re all I need tonight.

I am so grateful that you are mine. I can’t wait to spend eternity with you. I love you more that I can say. And even if the sun refused to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme, you would still have my heart until the end of time. You’re all I need, my love, my valentine. I love you to the moon and back, forever and ever.

Welcome to Real Life

The last story I told you was about the best party weekend of my life. Well... I'm glad I made that weekend happen while I still could. Since then my life has gotten significantly less fun.

Remember about two months ago when I was a missionary? My life was so simple. All I had to do was "Invite others to come unto Christ..." and be a good example to the members in the ward. Not hard, right? Not like I had too many things to keep track of. That was a good life.

Now I am back in reality, where I have real responsibilities. There are three main aspects of my life, School, Work, and my Social Life. Let's go through each of them.

School.
Holy smokes. I would definitely not recommend coming home from a mission and jumping right into 15 credits of senior level classes. That's a good way to kill yourself. I legitimately spend about 5 hours at the library per day, ON AVERAGE. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less. But still... That's a whole freaking lot of time. And somehow despite that, I feel like I am a mediocre student who is just barely keeping up.

Work.
First, let's just take a minute to celebrate the fact that I have a job. That's good news. I'm going to work at a group home like I did before my mission. Because of that, I had to spend all of last week doing training for my new job. That meant that I had to miss several classes. That really irritated me a lot; almost to the point of making me reconsider my decision to take the position.

Social Life.
This is the one aspect of my life that I wish I could devote more time to. It's definitely the one I enjoy the most. Most of the time that I spend with my boyfriend is spent at the library doing homework for our individual homework assignments. Once in a while we actually do something fun. Like a week and a half ago, he and I went to a masquerade ball that the College of the Arts sponsored. Then the other day we took a break from homework and went Country Dancing. I like when we do that stuff.

Throw these things into a pot, let them boil, and you end up with a really stressed out Kelsey. Last week when I was doing my training for work, I was stressed out of my mind. I felt bad for my boyfriend, because at the start of the week I apologized for my inability to be social for the week. Someday I'm sure that I'll be a master and juggling all of my responsibilities and then some, but in the mean time, I'm going to stop blogging and go back to trying to keep my head above water.

Party in Provo

I know that there is often a negative social image when one hears the word "Provo". Especially if you happen to live anywhere north of the place. But despite popular belief on Utah State's campus, there are a few decent human beings in Provo. And this weekend I was lucky enough to spend time with a few of them. In three days I visited 10 different people or families between Logan and Provo.

I started by visiting my friend Richard in Layton. Richard and I go way back. Six years ago, I never would've imagined that in 2015 Richard and I would be catching up with each other over dinner. You know you have a good relationship with someone when you can sit down and talk about each other's love interests, and be super excited and happy for each other.

After dinner with Richard, I made my way to P-town. I stayed the first night with my friends Elysha and Hannah. Elysha and I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning talking about missions, school, dating, marriage, fears, and the good ole' days. Only with Elysha could I do that. I now remember why she is my soul-mate. I feel more at ease and myself with her than I do anyone else on the planet. She's the best.

The next morning the two of us went shopping and then I met up with my friend Dillon. Dillon was my first zone leader on the mission, and one of my dearest friends that I made in Texas. There was a little communication problem regarding where we were supposed to meet for lunch. As a result I spent an hour driving all over Provo trying to find him. It was worth it though, because I thoroughly enjoyed having lunch with him. Then he and I went shopping. He is extremely fashionable and was fantastic to have around as I tried to upgrade my wardrobe. My mission companion, Ashley joined us, and the two of them picked out clothes for me to try on and told me which ones to keep and which ones to leave. As a result I now have a fabulous new wardrobe and am on my way to being considered stylish.

After shopping with Dillon, Ashley and I met up with another mission friend, Brayden. Ashley was nervous about having Brayden along because she didn't know him, and she didn't want to be a third wheel. It turned out fine though. The two of them hit it off really fast. I hardly got a word in edgewise over dinner. After being at Sizzler for 2-1/2 hours, we decided we'd better hit the road. Ashley invited Brayden to go country dancing with us. I'm glad she did. It was such a blast!!!! The first guy that I danced with was really good, and he could tell that I knew a thing or two, so he asked if I knew the can-opener. Then he threw me into it, and it went pleasantly well. I've only done that move like twice before in my whole life! I spent most of the evening trying to teach Brayden how to dance. I'm a good dancer, just not a good teacher unfortunately. I was super impressed at how well he learned the moves though.

Sunday I went to church with my oldest sister's family. Then I visited the family of one of my mission companions. They were really nice. They shared their Sunday-afternoon snack with me. It was a cheese bar. I tried some new types of cheese and was surprised to find that I actually liked some of them. The last stop of the night was my first trainee, Serisa. She is adorable!!!!! I love her to pieces!!!!! While I was at her house, she made me try this treat called a "Tim Tam Slam". It was actually really, good. And I promised her that I'd give a shout out to them on my blog.  So everyone listen up!!! If you ever get the chance to try a Tim Tam Slam, you'd better take it!!!!

Sunday night I made it back to Logan and met up with my boyfriend, Kevin. We spend the rest of the night playing games with our friends. What an utterly fantastic weekend in every way. I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends whom I love oh so very much. Life is good. Life is very good.

Land of Enchantment

Did you know that New Mexico is called the Land of Enchantment? Who knew?! I thought that was Agrabah! (Aladdin reference: "Welcom to Agrabah! City of mystery... and enchantment!!!")

Well surprise! Apparently New Mexico is also the land of enchantment. And that is where I went for New Years. My sister Jashley had a baby a little while back, so my whole entire family (minus one) caravaned to Albuquerque from Salt Lake City. It was quite the adventure. I caught up on some of the movies that I missed while I was on my mission. I also read a good chunk of the book The Fault in Our Stars. If you haven't read that book. Read it!!! It was incredible. The movie is also incredible, and surprisingly fairly close to the book. I'm impressed by that.

Back to New Mexico. While we were there, we got to see hot air balloons every morning right outside of Jashley's back window. How awesome is that?! The kids loved it. The highlight of the trip was when we discovered that NM has Blue Bell ice cream. Whaaaaaat?! Well, you know that we went and bought every kind imaginable and had a huge ice cream buffet. It was fantastic!!! We also went to see the petroglyphs. Jashley kept telling us to set our expectations low because they weren't that spectacular. Admittedly they really weren't all that impressive. But we did have a lot of fun interpreting what they meant. If I remember right, a lot of them had to do with the end of the world and someone dying. Knowing my family, that interpretation shouldn't be too surprising.

That day was when the trip started going down hill. My mom woke up that morning sick, so she didn't get out of bed all day. The next day, my niece Ali was sick, and threw up all night. Then the next day, which happened to be New Years Eve, I was the lucky one who got sick. It was terrible. I spent the day isolated to my nephew's room with only my phone and iPad to keep me company. I vomited five times throughout the day. What a way to bring in the new year, eh? The worst part is, that the same thing happened last time I was with my family for New Years Eve.

The next morning we packed up and started the two day trip back home. Whoopay. I was home for approximately 2.5 days, and then I moved back to Logan, UT. Utah State, here I come!!!!!!! Bring on a good semester!!!!!!! Right now, I only have two friends here, Jade and Kevin. But that's all I need. Just enough friendship to keep me happy, but not enough to distract me with parties all the time. Life is good.