God Thinks You're Wonderful!

It's been a while since I've written. And lately I've been feeling overwhelmingly grateful for all of my blessings. Especially special people that God has given to me. I've been trying to figure out the best way to express what has been on my mind. While doing so, I came across a book that I received while I was in Texas. This book expresses perfectly the way that I feel. It's as if the book was written specifically for me. I want to share with you the words of that book.

God Thinks You're Wonderful! by Max Lucado

God is fond of you... If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. If He had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. Face it, Friend. He's crazy about you!

By the way, it may be difficult for you to believe that God knows your name... But He does. Written on His hand. Spoken by His mouth. Whispered by His lips. Your name. Our hearts are not large enough to contain the blessings that God wants to give. So try this. The next time a sunrise steals your breath... Or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless... remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you." If we give gifts to show our love, how much more would He? He could have left the world flat and gray... but He didn't. He splashed orange in the sunrise... and cast the sky in blue. And if you love to see geese as they gather, chances are that you'll see that too. Did He have to make the squirrel's tail furry? Was He obliged to make the birds sing? And the funny way that chickens scurry... Or the majesty of thunder when it rings? Why give flower fragrance? Why give food it's taste? Could it be He loves to see that look upon your face? 

So promise me you'll never forget... that you aren't an accident or an incident... You are a gift to the world, a divine work of art signed by God. You were knit together. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth... by the Master Craftsman. He thinks you are the best thing to come down the pike in quite a while. Turn to the sidelines; that's God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that's God applauding your steps. God is for you. Had He a calendar, your birthday, your birthday would be circled. If He drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there's a tree in heaven, He's carved your name in the bark. 

Maybe you don't want to trouble God with your hurts, but... "He cares about you" [1 Peter 5:7]. He is waiting for you, to embrace you whether you succeed or fail. Your Heavenly Father is very fond of you and only wants to share His love with you. Unteathered by time, God sees us all. Vagabonds and ragamuffins all, He saw us before we were born. And he loves what he sees. Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Star Maker turns to us, one by one, and says, "You are my child. I love you dearly. I'm aware that someday you'll turn from me and walk away. But I want you to know I've already provided a way back." You have captured the heart of God. He cannot bear to live without you. God's dream is to make you right with Him. And the path to the cross tells us exactly how far God will go to call us back. "Can anything make me stop loving you?" God asks. "You wonder how long my love will last. Watch me speak you language, sleep on your earth, and feel your hurts. Find your answer on a splintered cross on a craggy hill. That's how much I love you." 

God does more than forgive our mistakes; He removes them. We simply have to take them to Him. You can talk to God, because God listens. Let a tear appear on your cheek, and He is there to wipe it. He has sent His angels to care for you, His holy spirit to dwell in you... His church to encourage you, and His word to guide you. As much as you want to see Him, He wants to see you more. If you want to touch God's heart, use the name He loves to hear. Call Him "Father." He thinks you're wonderful!

My Divine Identity

Romans 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: ~KJV

I had a realization last night when I was visiting with and introducing myself to my new bishopric member and his wife. I realized that I am pretty dang awesome. I don’t say this to sound arrogant, but more as positive reinforcement so that I can look back on it to remind myself that it is true.

But really… I am actually a pretty exceptional human being. I am pretty well rounded, I have high moral standards (compared to the rest of the world), I have a super solid testimony and a fairly good working knowledge of the gospel. I am intelligent and ambitious. And I even have a decent personality to mesh all those things together.

I might not currently be a sports fanatic, but I was at one point. That has given me the ability to appreciate a good sporting event here and there, especially attending live events. I also know how to work hard and get dirt under my fingernails. Don’t mistake me for a complete Tom-boy though. I also love to cook. That is a talent that I hope to develop more in the future. I am also passionate about the piano. I don’t pretend to be an amazing concert pianist, and I don’t need to. I’m perfectly happy playing for my own pleasure and sharing with others when the occasion calls for it. I love to dance. I’ve learned nine different dance genres before. Again, I don’t pretend to be a professional performer, but I won’t lie; I’m a pretty decent dancer. And most importantly, I enjoy it. I like to relax and watch all sorts of movies. But I have learned my lesson before and do not enjoy watching sleazy reality TV shows, or even crude sitcoms. I do have some standards, and I like to keep that trash out of my brain. But don’t worry; I’m not a couch potato whose life revolves around movies. I LOVE school and can’t get enough knowledge. I have high hopes and want to gain as much education as I possibly can. I spend a disgusting amount of time at the library studying and doing my best to earn good grades. I’m not a complete book worm though. I thrive on positive personal relationships. I love to be around friends. I love to listen when they need to talk. I love throwing parties and playing games. I’m not shy about making new friends.

I served a full time mission for my church. The list of skills and character traits that I developed from that experience is endless. I’ll let you fill in the blanks. But the most important thing is that I have a firm testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that because of him I never have to walk my path alone. He makes it possible for me to leave my sins and mistakes in the past and become better from them. I know that He restored his church to the earth through a young man named Joseph Smith. I know that part of that restoration was restoring precious truths and guidelines to help us through the trials of life and prepare us to live with God forever someday. I know that God has more in store for me than I can even imagine all because I am a child of God. I am the daughter of a divine King.

I know that I am in no way, shape, or form perfect. I have just as many flaws and weaknesses as the next guy. I could write a whole blog post about them (although that would a depressingly stupid idea). I’ve always seen those flaws as carrying more weight in my character make-up than they really do. I’ve always seen myself as exceptionally average. And in some ways I am. But last night I had a stroke of insight where God allowed me to see in myself all of the great things that he sees in me. It was a very empowering moment, but also a very humbling moment. I know that the life events that define me were divinely orchestrated by a loving Heavenly Father. I am who he wants me to be right now, and I am becoming the person he wants me to be in the future.

The Value of Kindness

Today I had the great opportunity to see the effects of a good deed I did a few weeks ago. I don't tell this story to toot my own horn, but to make a point. Here's how it went:

Once upon a time, I went to Chick-fil-a at least once a week for the first half of the semester. I noticed in all my times going, that there was one girl who worked there who seemed extra special. I know that Chick-fil-a is known for their friendly employees, but this girl was really something else. Her kindness was more sincere than the required politeness. And she had the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen in my life. So a few weeks ago I went into the restaurant for lunch. I decided that I wanted to tell that girl that I thought she had a beautiful smile and that I appreciated how sweet she was. So I did. When I was finished eating, I asked her to refill my cup, and then I gave her the compliment. I just did it because I figured that it would make my day if someone said something like that to me. I went on my way hoping that I had brightened her day a little bit.

Now fast forward to today. I went back to Chick-fil-a for the first time since that incident. It just so happened that this same girl was the one that took my order. She didn't say anything about our last interaction, but I could tell she remembered. This time she treated me like I was her friend. We talked about our weekend plans while she was taking my order and getting my drink. Then as I was leaving, she went out of her way to come ask me if I wanted her to tip off my lemonade before I left.

I don't know if I did this story justice, or accurately described the tenderness of the whole thing. But the point of the story is this. Three weeks ago, I extended a little kindness to a stranger, and I had no way of knowing that nearly a month later, I would still be able to see the effects of that. So never hesitate to be kind to someone. You never know what it will mean to them.

PS- If you haven't seen the video "Validation", you really should. The link is on the side of my blog.

Dancing Queen

Who is the dancing queen? That would be me. I am the dancing queen. I love to dance!!! I don't know which style is my favorite. Ballroom is elegant and beautiful. The Tango is my favorite ballroom dance. That passion is so fun to get into. Then there's Big Band Swing. That genre is just fun and challenging. It also looks incredible when you do it well. And last of all is Country Swing. This one is just fun and super social. Also, it is the only genre that I would dare try to sing along to while I danced (just saying...) So I'm going to tell you all about my Country Dance class and the project we just did.

So way back in the day I took the beginning county swing class twice. I won't lie. I was a pretty good dancer by the end of all that. Then I left on my mission. When I came home, I signed up for the intermediate country swing class. It's basically the same class, except this time around you learn the moves a lot quicker, and learn a few extra lifts that are cool. The big thing with the intermediate class is that you get to choreograph a dance and perform it at the Fun Park. So my teacher assigned partners. I got paired up with Steven who is definitely one of the best dancers in the class. The class split into two groups and we started choreographing to the song Looking for a Good Time, by Lady Antebellum. Steven and I were put into the most advanced group within our group. The two of us choreographed the routine that we used in the chorus'. That was great, but when it came our advanced group's routine Steven and I struggled. We were doing a move called "Set Your Sails". To do this move, the girl kicks her legs up, and basically just holds them up in the air while the boy holds her upside down on his shoulder while he spins around. Steven could do it with anyone else, I could do it with other people, we were just struggling to do it together. It was rough. But somehow we were able to pull it off beautifully in the performance.

We also struggled with the very end of the song. We legitimately didn't learn that part until the day of the performance. Whoops. And the very last move was a killer. It's was this weird lift where the guy basically breaks his wrist and squeezes the girl's ribs until they snap. It was brutal. Combine that with being sick and achy, I thought I was going to die. My ribs are still in extreme pain from the experience. At the very last minute someone showed us an alternative move that basically looked about the same, but was a ton easier. We choose to do that one instead. And basically, we knocked it out of the ball park. It was fantastic. Everything came together perfectly. We got both parts down so no one would ever know that we had been struggling. Go team go!!!

Blessed Assurance

Today has been a sweet Sabbath, filled with lots of tears. Sad, pitiful tears. But such is life. I went to church this morning and invited a visitor to sit by me. She was sweet, and it was much needed for both of us, I think. I was fine during the first hour of classes, but in the second hour of classes, things started to go downhill. I found my thoughts wondering as I reflected on the last four months of my life and reviewing some of my happier memories from that time frame. But then I found myself wondering how long it is acceptable to keep doing that. I know that a natural part of mourning is to reminisce and think about good times. But at what point to do you need to let go and not think about those things anymore? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure if I want to hit that point anytime soon. But at the same time, I want nothing more than to be done with the heartache and sorrow and be able to feel completely happy again.

By the time that I made it to Sacrament Meeting, I was feeling a little somber. I sat right in the middle of the chapel on the edge of a long bench, hoping that someone would come fill in the middle section and therefore, sit by me. But nothing.... as Sacrament Meeting got closer I found myself starting to feel even more blue. And then this super sweet girl left her row of friends and asked if she could come sit by me. That was so sweet of her. I didn't know who she was, but I kept thanking her for coming to sit by me so I didn't have to be alone. During the Sacrament, I pulled out a hymn book and read the words to the hymn "Reverently and Meekly Now." I like that hymn, because it is written from the perspective of the Savior talking to us. As I read the words to that hymn, a few tears slid down my face as I felt like He really was talking to me. I pulled myself together to listen to the speakers. The first speaker addressed the topic of gratitude even in our trials. If that wasn't applicable, then I don't know what is. Then the next speaker addressed the topic of happiness. Again, nothing more applicable to my life. Then finally the high council member stood up and spoke about how we will face hard times in life and how it is alright to ask questions in those times. But he said that we should make sure that we are asking real questions. We should not be asking rhetorical questions as a way to moan and groan about our circumstances. That hit home with me. His whole talk was really inspired, and again I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

When Sacrament Meeting ended, I had the opportunity to meet with my Stake President. He had been my bishop who assisted with my missionary application, and therefore someone that I felt particularly close to. I went into his office and sat down. He asked me a question or two about my mission, and then about my life since. I gave him a brief overview of the last few months of my life, with a little more detail put into the last month. We discussed the nature of my current situation, and what it meant for the future. I shed quite a few tears during that visit. But I was glad that I was able to sit down and talk to an ecclesiastical leader, or really any sort of leader. I appreciated the perspective, wisdom, and compassion that he was able to share.

Now here I sit, still feeling heartbroken and numb. But at least I feel the spirit more today that I have in a very long while. I have been able to see the Lord's hand very clearly in the trials that I have been handed lately. But today I was also able to see His hand in supporting me through those trials. The days may be dark, but there is light ahead somewhere. I just need to keep moving forward until I reach it.

Having Fun Isn't Hard...

Did you know that having fun isn't hard, when you've got a library card?! Fact. I learned that from the children's show, Arther. And I've proven it.

The best thing about public libraries is that they usually have a nice collection of movies... that you can rent for FREE!!!! Why pay $1.29 at Redbox or even $4.49 at Hastings when you can pay nothing at the library. Yes, the pickings may be slim, because the library doesn't have as many copies of the same movies as the other places do; therefore you might have to wait a little while for the movie you want. But that's fine, because while you're waiting, you can rent a movie that you've never been exposed to before and broaden your horizons.

Last week I spent a lot of time watching movies that I rented at the library. And I tried really hard to pick good movies. I picked ones that everyone else in the world seems to have seen, but I have somehow dodged for 22 years. Here are some of my favorites.

Cinderella Man
I loved this movie. It was incredible. I can see why it was a
winner of so many awards. It was beautifully done. I know that
Russell Crowe isn't the most liked actor in Hollywood; however,
I do have to give him the credit that he deserves for this movie.
He did a remarkable job. I was more absorbed in this movie, than
any other movie that I have watched in a very long time.

Sabrina

This was my first time ever watching an Audrey Hepburn movie. 

I was not disappointed. She did a beautiful job. She is so 

elegant and graceful. She was So classy, especially compared 

to some other leading ladies of her day, such as Marilyn 

Monroe (whom I also love). Also, I love Humphrey Bogart. Super

classy as well.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

This is one of those movies that I feel everyone needs to watch 

in their lifetime. I am now proud to say that I have done

so. It was absolutely marvelous!!! I LOVED Holly! She reminded

me so much of my best friend, Elysha. It was almost unrealistic

how much she reminded me of Elysha. Oh it was so wonderful.

Now I know why this movie is such a big deal.

Leave the Past Where it Belongs

Since being home from my mission, I have noticed that some fashion trends have changed significantly since I have been gone. I'm going to tell you about them, and just how ridiculous I think they are.

First trend: Leggings

A couple of years back leggings came back into style. You know what I'm talking about, the spandex pants that people wore in the 80's? At first people just wore them under dresses, or long sweaters. I didn't think they were cute, but they weren't repulsive either. But oh how the tables have turned... People no longer just wear them under dresses and long sweaters any more. Now they are commonly accepted as pants that can be worn with anything. And everyone wears them. It's not just the skinny girls, or the non-so-skinny girls. EVERYONE. To all of these people, I want to say "Hello. As cute as your butt is, no one wants to see it jiggle when you walk. Are you aware that those tight leggings make your butt look exceptionally large?" It's true. Even skinny girls look like they have massive butts when they wear leggings.

See, What about this is cute? Nothing. Nothing about this is cute...

Second trend: Man-buns

First off, I don't even think it is very attractive when guys have really long hair to begin with. Secondly, I don't know when it became socially acceptable for guys to pull their long hair up, nonetheless when it became "cool". Isn't long hair kind of a feminine trait? I mean even the bible talks about long hair. It says that WOMEN are supposed to have long hair.  I’ve always thought ponytails were for when your hair is greasy and you’re trying to hide it. Combine those two factors, and you’ve got an extremely greasy, feminine man. Not exactly my idea of attractiveness.

Again... nothing cute about this.

And there you have my opinion on the latest fashion trends. I know that these things were cool in the 80's. But that was 30 years ago. I think that these trends should be left in the 80's. It's 2015, people. Let's be a little bit more creative and progressive in our style choices.