Why I should not be allowed in public

*Names have been changed for the sake of everyone's dignity.

One time my friend Topanga became friends with a whole bunch of kids from Star Valley. She often asked me questions about them, so I didn’t consider it odd when she texted me one night asking if I had dated Landon’s little brother, Thomas.

I replied “Oh my heck! I WISH I had dated Thomas! He’s a great kid. He’s a total stud, and he’s one of my role models.”

Then like the fool that I am, I proceeded to tell her that I had also been in love with their older brother Cody since the beginning of time, but that I had always wanted him to marry my sister. But that was a secret.

She wrote back and said that she was sitting on the couch next to Landon. I was mortified.

I said “Oh please tell me that you did NOT just read him everything that I’ve just said.”

But no; she had definitely read him everything that I had said.

Then Landon texted me and said that he would be alright if I married into his family, and I told him he’d have to convince his little brother of that. He said he would.

This would have been a good time for me to put my foot in my mouth. But just wait. It doesn’t end there. Oh no, it only gets better. So then I told Topanga that I was so embarrassed and she said not to be because Landon said I was cute and sweet.

 To this I replied “No I’m not. I was the dorky kid that the other kids called ‘Magpie’!”

Then Topanga freaked out because she thought that Landon had been a bully, and I had to do damage control and convince her that he hadn't been the one to call me names. It was the other kids we used to hang out with.

Anyway… So in less than half an hour, I managed to tell someone that I once loved two of his brothers, and make his friend think that he was a bully. Moral of the story is that I should not be allowed to be in contact with any other human beings, because nothing good ever comes from it.

My Bilbo Moment

Remember at the beginning of the Hobbit where Bilbo is just hanging around his Hobbit hole and suddenly all of these random dwarfs show up at his door?

I had a Bilbo moment this weekend.

There I was sitting around thinking about what I was going to eat for Sunday dinner (as hobbits often do). That was when suddenly my friend Jade came knocking on my door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see not one friend, but five friends!!!

One by one, they walked into my apartment and gave me a big bear hug before making themselves at home. But unlike Bilbo, who would have been disgusted by this surprise, I was absolutely thrilled! I got to see cute Jade, awesome Ben, sweet Bryson, my new friend Jacob Hall, and my secret lover Gary.

After a few minutes at my house, we went and terrorized Janel's roommates for a few minutes before we went to campus. While on campus, Gary proposed to me. Now our fake engagement has a real story, and pictures to prove it. Hooray!!!

Yay for surprise visits!!!

Oh Christmas, how do I love thee so?

Oh Christmas, how do I love thee so? Let me count the ways...

I love riding the sleds with my cute niece.

I love playing pranks

I love ice skating with the family

And playing Crack The Whip

I love visiting with friends

I love playing dress-up with my awesome niece

And I love seeing random elk at Scheels

Oh Christmas. Wonderful Christmas. I sure do love you!!!

My Invisible Friends

Today my friends came to visit! Ivan, Chester, Phill, Lucy, Noel. They are so great. I took them to see the famous USU Bull

They had to stop for a picture on the stairs. Then Noel decided that she wanted a turn at riding the bull. And why not? She's invisible. No one was going to get her in trouble!

Then I took them for a tour of campus. Ivan had to show off his balancing skills

Noel tried climbing one of the trees

But then she was so tired! So she sat down to rest for a minute.

Then we dared her to try licking the flag pole. (You can tell she didn't grow up with a lot of snow.)

Her tongue got stuck to the pole and we had to help her out.

Then I took to them to the famous Utah State A. Noel and Ivan wanted to become true aggies, and of course we couldn't tell them no.

Then Matthew wanted to give it a shot. So Noel volunteered to kiss him.

But then I couldn't turn down the opportunity to join in the fun. So Ivan agreed to kiss me.

After that, we went back to the TSC to warm up for a little while. Ivan started showing off again. He jumped up on the handrail and tried to slide down.

Then Noel found the couch up on the 3rd floor and watched some TV while Kevin and Ivan played some foozeball.

Then we all went outside and the guys had a snowball fight.

After the snowball fight, we needed to get back to being productive for the day. So our friends said goodbye and headed home. I'm so glad they came!!!

...It's kind of like being a homeless bum

College life... Isn't it the greatest? It's almost like being a homeless bum.

As college students we couch surf. (I mean, who actually sleeps at their own apartment when you have friends with couches?)

We wear sweats and slippers in public. (Who needs to look dignified anyway?)

We beg for money. (Namely from our parents.)

And we pounce as soon as we hear the words "free food".

Fortunately, I have only done two of the previous four pitiful activities. (You can just guess which ones.) But last week I set a new PR for how many free meals I had in one day, and I feel like it might be worth bragging about.

It started out with ASUSU giving away free sandwiches as bribery for people to come up to their offices and talk to them. Well, lucky for me, I already all my time there anyway. So I reaped the benefits of the situation. Thank you ASUSU.

Then there was a "Lunch and Learn" at the business building. The student chapter of SHRM was hosting a resume workshop. So I went and got some tips about building a good resume and creating my personal brand, then I got to enjoy some delicious Texas Roadhouse. Thank you SHRM for feeding me so well.

Later that night, I was with Spencer and he said that Clayton was at the end-of-semester social for the AIS club (also in the business building). He said that they were serving pizza and that Clayton had invited him to come. As Spencer's adopted little sister, I got to go along for the ride. So we looked the event location up on the school's website, then headed up to campus. We got there just in time to grab the last few pieces of pizza, some sweets, and chocolate milk before the party ended. Thank you Clayton, Spencer, and the AIS club for the pizza.

So the moral of the story... being a college student (or a homeless bum) can be kind of fun. Now I feel even more inspired to move to Florida where I can be a beach bum/professional dumpster diver. :)

Rantings of an Economist- Part 2

The semester is nearly over. That means the end of economics classes with my hilarious professor. So here is a second post dedicated to him and his perspective on life. Enjoy these rantings of an economist:

"If you want to make a lot of money, you need to work for the government or be productive. I took the government route. But I recommend most of you take the productive route."

"If you're short and lousy at shooting, you're probably not playing college basketball. If you're short and can't shoot, there is no point to your existence." (This was while explaining why it's good if the opposing team fouls your short players in the final minutes of a game. Because if a guy is short, he must be a really good shot or he wouldn't be playing.)

"We should have Hollywood take over the government. Then everyone in the government would be really good looking."

"Light houses are just decoration now. They're like earrings on the coast."

"If you want to blame someone in our country, find the median voter and kick his ass."

"It's just as wrong to eat a car as it is to eat a horse."

"Trying to measure happiness is like trying to measure how much people enjoy eating snickers."

"Oprah is one of our cultural over-lords. Her and Taylor Swift."

I hope you've enjoyed this edition of Rantings of an Economist. I'm sorry that this is the end of the series.

Glimpses Into my Childhood

Here's a good reflective post for you. I felt like writing about some of my memories from my wonderful childhood.

When I think of my childhood I think of riding snowmobiles and four-wheelers. We used to tie a sled behind the snowmobile and pull it around the neighborhood or field. It was always so fun. We'd sit 2-3 kids on it, and see how far we could tilt it to the side without flipping it over. The best part is, that we still do it. When we go sledding still, Jashley and I will share a sled. We're so big now that we're crammed on there in really uncomfortable positions, but hey! it still works.

Another activity that I associate with my childhood, is playing night games. I remember during the summer trying to play night games with my sisters and neighbors almost every night. We would always pow-wow at Robertson's house, and pick a game. Then we would start playing, and end up arguing for a very long time about whether or not the little kids had to split up or if they could stay in a pack. Usually by the time that we finished arguing, no one cared anymore and we'd find something else to do. So basically there wasn't a whole lot of playing going on, but it's the thought that counts. Something else that goes right along with this is sleeping on the trampoline. During the summer, my sisters and I would sleep on the tramp as often as mom and dad would let us. To this day, it's still my favorite place to sleep.

One of my favorite games to play with my neighbors was Pirates. We'd split into teams with Cameron, Brett, and Adam Moore, and one group would be the pirates and the others would be the good guys. The pirates would catch the good guys and hold them captive on "their ship" (either the trampoline or the swing set.) Then the other good guys had to go rescue them. It was always so fun, but I remember that somehow it always turned into a game of house.  

When I was little kid I used to do this weird thing where I'd sit on the kitchen floor, pull my legs up to my chest so my feet weren't touching the ground, and spin. I'd sit there forever just spinning around in circles, sitting on the kitchen floor. It was really rather fun. You should try it sometime.

One of the most bizarre memories of my childhood was coming downstairs in the middle of the night once and finding Emily and Jashley, in Emily's formal dresses and having cowboy-style shoot outs while Le sat on the couch rolling with laughter. They'd provide the sound effects from The Good, the Bad, the Ugly (The one that I used to have as my ringtone, if that helps any), then they'd draw their imaginary guns from their hip-holsters and shoot each other. To this day, I still don't know why they were dressed in formal dresses, or why they were shooting each other, but I guess that's just the type of thing that we did in my family.

Another great memory from my childhood was when I learned my first swear word. I was watching the movie While You Were Sleeping. There's a part where one of the old men asks "What the hell is going on here?!" I thought that was funny, and that I was clever by quoting this movie. So I went and asked Jashley "Hey Jashley, what the hell is going on here?!" She laughed and told me to go tell Emily. I thought she laughed because I was funny, so I went and asked Emily "Hey Emily, What the hell is going on here?!" Emily also laughed and told me to go tell mom and dad. I thought I was supposed to go tell them because it was such a good one that they thought everyone should hear it. Apparently it was, but not in the way that I was thinking. So I went and asked my parents "Hey! What the hell is going on here?!" Then I got in trouble. Thank you Jashley and Emily.

All of these stories make me laugh. I had the best childhood a person could ever ask for. Great family, friends, neighbors, all living in a wonderful neighborhood. What more could a person want?